cramps

suck...but they let me just sit and relax. They take my mind off the hectic schedule that is my life. I'm going to Sacramento that I deep down hope will be my last tennis competition...I am kinda sorta really ready for it to be over. I mean I know I say I'm gonna come back next year if my coach can come back, but I kinda hope she doesn't but if she does, whatever...I guess. Ok, Samantha 3? 4? more days. Just a little bit more. But other than that I have to get started on that photography assignment. It's due next thursday: 20 pictures that embody 20 sociological concepts. I can do it.

Ok, next...I really love my boyfriend. I don't know if it's the hormones raging through my body. But I really and truly love him. I can't describe how appreciative I am to have him love me back. Although our relationship has been pretty rough these past couple months...and I really can't stand him sometimes...he always seems to bring me back to him. As much as I can say I don't need him sometimes or I don't want him...it's never the truth. He has become not only my lover...he is really one of my best friends. I never thought that things like this really happen. But he kind of has given me the back the hope that there are still more great people that I haven't met yet that I can let into my life. Coming back from that place I thought that I couldn't meet anyone else anymore...and that all the people I already knew were the only people that mattered. I thought that I couldn't find anymore best friends to fit into the PJR category..but I found a new one in him. Oh myyy...I love him so much..sorry if this is grosss...but I dont think that I could ever find the words to tell him how I really feel without stumbling..cause believe it or not...9 months into this...he still makes me nervous. If he does read this...I love love loveeeee you. ♥

But the real point is....is that summer is coming and I can't wait for this sucky first year of college to end. I need a fresh new start.