long time no post.

So as I am here waiting for my boyfriend to leave early from class I think I should update this. So from my list of todos for my life and getting my "loose" shit together it is slowly coming together. I have recently gotten a job at your local united artists. So you can come and visit me while I serves your delicious buttered popcorn and ice cold drinks and hot dogs :). But yes I got the job down. Although I am already thinking about another job I don't know I'm so complicated that its not even worth my time to explain myself. But anyways I am slowly working on that debt shit, but yah and my schooling yes that is coming together as well. My only dilemma now is deciding which classes I need to take in the summer. Oh and that shitty car accident that I may or may not have mentioned, I hope is getting somewhat handled, but as of now I am banned from driving forever. and I mean FOREVER. or what it seems like. But other than that misfortune I think that it is pretty safe to say that my "loose" shit is starting to come together. whew? I guess. Let's just hope nothing else adds my madness that I like to call my life.

my boyfriend.

i love my boyfriend.


♥


that is all.

So lately...

I have been having these constant headaches and these bouts of irritation and fatigue. I don't know whats wrong with me. I just really wish I can curl up into a ball and stay there for a few days until I can arrange my thoughts and figure out how to solve most of my problems. I can't even think straight it seems and it hard for me to even speak clearly at times. My head hurts and I don't want to do anything today. I wish someone could help me.

my life in thousands of words

1. A picture of you in your room

2. A picture with someone you really don't like

3. A picture of you very drunk
Cerritos Prom 2008

4. A picture of you on your birthday/favorite holiday
Debut 18th Birthday 12/22/07

Actual BirthDAY 12/18/2007 PJR 12am Surprise

5. The youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form

4th Grade became BFF with Ellie :)

6. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits

Senior Prom with Benjamin

7. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera

PJR outing to Torrance.

8. A picture you might have edited to make yourself look more attractive

Half ditch day with Zugey at Acacia Park

9. A picture of a night you regret
eh.... or even this one
ehhhh.....

10. A picture of you truly being yourself

PJR Farewell for a month

11. The most recent picture of you

Chanini's Debut 2/20/09

12. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous

Natata's 18th Roller Disco Party 1/08

13. A picture of you showing off a new haircut/color
The Big Bang New Years Eve 07

14. A picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't

15. A picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more thankful

16. A picture of you when you were anything but happy

17. A picture of you when you were nothing but happy

18. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are now

19. A picture of you with someone you love

20. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you

21. A picture that describes how you'd like to spend everyday

22. A picture of a time when everything was changing

23. A picture that makes your heart hurt

24. A picture that makes your heart smile

25. A picture of one of the best days/nights of your life

26. A picture of your past

27. A picture of your present

28. A picture of your future

29. A picture you couldn't leave out

30. A picture of just you

amen.

"it only hurts when I exist."

Remember Back....

when we used to be all romantical
when we could eat lunch with our best friends everyday
when ditching school was hard to do
when we could eat anything we wanted and still be skinny
when we could buy things without really caring because our economy didnt suck
when we always thought we would never ever get a person who liked us for who we are
when we would drive down random streets and blast music so loud our ears rang
when we could dress up, like really dress up for a stupid dance
when I had my small wedding
when we ichatted...and talked about nothing till we slept on the phone together
to that time that we were together and everything was so perfect for that one moment.

I miss all of the perfect times that I experienced with so many different people.

I Need To Get My Shit...

together.

Okay, so this is officially the last week of my loose shit. I finally start a class next week at my new college, like a class that I actually attend. Hopefully, this obligation to leave the house will force me to do everything else I need to take care of. I'm not gonna lie I've been really lazy this time I've been home. And believe it or not Point Motherfucking Loma is still fucking me in the ass. I'm pretty much three thousand in debt so I'm kinda stressed because of the $0 that I have to start paying that shit. UGH. God Damit. I hate that school so much. On top of this I gotta get started on focusing on my present life and I need to get a job. Being like this sucks...I hate having adult problems like this at such a young age...seriously I feel like I'm the only one going through this...I wish I was the girl who left after the 2nd day of school, now I see that her decision was pretty damn smart. So from this coming monday on, I gotta be focused...cuz right now I really think that I'm lowkey fucked.

I Get So Lonely....

Yah, well kind of...well not really, I feel like this is the least of my problems, but I'm listening to Janet right now so there ya go. But anyways..I am kind of back to being lonely..well until next week when I start pretty much my first class at Cerritos. But I'm in that moment where I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life to the point where I wish I was back in high school at school everyday which is kind of a thought of desperation. But anyways...I still need a job, hopefully starbucks or something pulls through because I'm tired of having tennis as pretty much the only thing on schedule. I really would rather have nothing on my schedule than to have tennis as the only thing..ew. Yah, so I have nothing to keep my time occupied so I really need something productive to put my mind on, because all the things that I have aren't satisfactory. So, I'm deciding to do something about it and try to get a job already..then meet with a counselor for my Summer School Schedule..because I need to get my escape from Cerritos going or I'm gonna be stuck there.

btw some random thoughts:
-What the fuck is twitter?

-...and I want hair like BoA :)

The Pick Me Up of the day

Summer is ALMOST here...I am excited for summer school. I don't know why though...I am going to be in summer school, and I will probably have a job by then. So, I don't understand why I'm so excited about all the free time I'm going to have. But I guess I'm just so excited by the thought of summer...the thought of having a lot of friends having somewhat of free time, the thought of nice long hot days, where there is more chance of you not having other things to do, but just knock out at the beach.....ahhhhh summer..nice sweet summer is almost here. Ok, so my goal, and for the few of you who know me is a understandable goal, is to be tan..not just dark and tan, but even...alll over me zebra body. Playing tennis and getting tan on only parts of my body has caused me for as long as I remember never for once in my life be even. So my tan in my goal for this summer. But these leaves me room for different ways I can be tanned. :)

For example:

baked @ the beach :)walking the streets of Italy
or just sweating and tanning at the club? i guess on those hot LA nights? oh whatever..

Ok well I'm excited for summer and thats that...hopefully it'll live up to last year...cuz last year...yep mmhmmm. ;)

BRB

Samantha will be back in a few days due to a life threatening disease, ear infection.

- Tim