emily..

I know. I was just frustrated, but I'm not giving up okay?

thank you.

"I'm still here with you."

-smnta

.......

"When I hurt, do you hurt?"

"It's taking a toll on me."

"I don't want to grow up yet."

"I hurt, I hurt, I hurt."

"...I don't know what to do anymore."

-me

Making Cupcakes.

So i should be getting ready for tennis and whatnot...knowing that my ride should be coming in 10 minutes but I just felt the urge to write in this thing since i haven't done so in quite a long time.
But aside from all of the fights and the makeups and the arguments
and the tennis that takes up all the rest of the free time that i have
aside from work, things are just very consistent.
Nothing has been really up for me at this point of my life.
I must say that this is one of the hardest years that I have ever gone through..
Let alone being practically one of the worst years ever...
I mean I'm pretty much at a very low point right now...and things about me are starting to deteriorate
I've notice some things about myself lately that I'm not really used to...

1. I don't really care about how I look anymore...
2. I've forgotten how to care about how I look. Which is sad.
3. I eat, eat, eat...I know I'm gaining weight and I don't care anymore
4. I feel that I am living through the box we call TV..all real things don't interest me, I enjoy living through others happiness
5. I've gotten really lazy at friendships. I think that fact that I don't have a car anymore discourages me from having any relationships with any people other than my boyfriend.
6. I think I'm becoming a moody bitch. Things are day and night with me...and this moodiness causes me to piss other people off when I'm not even mad at them. I think that this could be my downfall.
7. I'm sad most of the time.

Well its hard to say you agree with me seeing as I'm not around a lot of people anymore. So it's either me self loathing or this is really happening.

This is what I think about when I make cupcakes I guess.

So this is my recent life in a nutshell

-tennis team :)
-movie theatre

-boyfriend ♥

-foood

the end...

i have no more time

no more time for my friends.

no more time for life. my life is depressing.

my schedule sucks its totally the opposite of every person that matters.